There’s something that’s been tormenting me for several months, and I feel it’s finally time I come clean and get it off my chest.
As you all know, the University implemented many policies during the 2021 spring semester to ensure compliance with public health guidelines. To ensure social distancing, every other bathroom stall was closed.
Well, one day, after having a large burrito for breakfast, I felt as if my stomach was about to explode; I rushed to the nearest bathroom to handle business, but, to my horror, all the stalls were occupied!—besides the closed ones, of course, whose posters read: “Not in use to ensure social distancing.”
As an honorable Princeton student I would never dream of violating the Social Contract and putting my peers at risk of contracting COVID-19, so I waited patiently for one of the occupied stalls to become available.
After about 10 minutes of waiting, however, I couldn’t contain myself anymore, realizing I had only precious seconds until I’d soil myself. Thus, in the heat of the moment, I burst into one of the “closed” stalls and unleashed one of the largest logs known to mankind.
Ever since this episode I have been plagued with insurmountable guilt and agony. How could I have violated my oath to faithfully abide by the Social Contract? How could I have prioritized personal hygiene over public safety? How can I continue to enjoy the privileges of a student in “good standing,” knowing that I brought dishonor to the University?
I’ve sought comfort and advice from many professionals and friends, but they’ve all brushed it off as “sh*t happens.” I’m posting here in hopes of finally arriving at some closure. I know, however, that there is no excuse for what I did, and I will have to grapple with it the rest of my days.